August 19, 2008

In The Year 2000.....

Sean is on a much-needed vacation at the moment in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. In his place are a bevy of all-star bloggers from around the Internets.

Scotty Wazz from Face Off Hockey Show will be your kind host in the morning. BD Gallof will join up in the afternoon.

It has been quite the summer, what with all the speculation, ownership changes, free agency moves. Yet, even now, there are still questions to be answered. Questions that will be answered in time, in the future. Which is why (with all due respect to those at "Late Night with Conan O'Brien") we look into the future-- all the way into the Year 2000.

  • After almost a year of seething and arguing, Brian Burke of the Anaheim Ducks finally buries that hatchet and says that he will stop personally attacking Kevin Lowe and his dealings as GM. In a surprising move, Burke hires unproven Fulton Reed and Dean Portman as special assistants to the GM. (Don't fret folks, it's not going to get any better)

  • After an early slump, the new owners of the Tampa Bay Lightning decide that they need to keep their name in the headlines, and thanks to Oren Koules connections they do just that. The Bolts announce the signing of Charlie Sheen and production of the first reality movie-- "Major League 4-- Hitting the Ice."

  • Also in Tampa, Olaf Kolzig has been able to work in slow-motion on the beach just like his idle. Which just proves the point that Germans love David Hasselhoff.

  • After a successful tenure in the KHL, Ray Emery decides that it is in his best interest to stay in Russia. Not only because he'll get all the playing time and attention he thinks he deserves, but more importantly; in the winter, his white Hummer is camoflauged to the Russian police.

  • After battling back and forth on the scoring list, the Art Ross trophy winner won't be favorites Alex Ovechkin, Sidney Crosby, or Evgeni Malkin. The eventual winner is, you guessed it, Frank Stallone.

  • Silencing the critics, Jeff Finger has a breakout season. Finger was able to win the Norris Trophy and help lead the Maple Leafs to their first Cup in 42 years....in EA Sports' NHL '09.

  • After taking a lot of time and consideration in making his decision, Mats Sundin comes to the conclusion in his search for a new place. Sundin said that he decided to go to a place which cared about him, which focused their time and energy on him, that actually cared about what he was going to do with his future. This is why he will be co-anchor on the 11 PM editions of "Sportscentre" on TSN.
Granted, this is all speculation and to be honest, there's a slight possibility some of these things could happen...especially the Jeff Finger prediction. Plus, that's the good thing with August-- it's the worst month of the year for the hockey fan. We should be able to have a little fun with it in the meantime.

That's my time, though-- I'm on FOHS whenever and doing my own thing every now and again. Thanks to Leahy for putting this star-studed line-up together and i just hope I'm not the Rory Fitzpatrick of the panel getting a pity vote. Enjoy the rest of the week, folks.


Ballhype: hype it up!

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